it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
