It's Friday. Sex?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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