i don't like sucking hair
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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