so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The struggles of a small town man whore
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
