my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
