Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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