We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
