I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
