So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
