i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
