I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
