He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
