you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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