Whod you bang
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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