Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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