maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
