He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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