I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
