they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
