You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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