i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
