...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
