You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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