You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
