there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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