doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
