We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
