so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Every concussion has its silver lining
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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