So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
