She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
