just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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