we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
