Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
