youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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