i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
