R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
