Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
no, he came in my armpit
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
