please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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