kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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