my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
