Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
