He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
