wanna go halves on a baby?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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