I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
