somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
