Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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