At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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