Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
