Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
where does the pee come out of this thing
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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