You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
