My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
