Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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