I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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