I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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