I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
