I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
