Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
