There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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