He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
