I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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