She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
